Bad date no.4
I promised there’d be more insights into my bad dates and at No.4 there’s Hand job guy.
I’m not going to lie, I have a tendency to like guys that look after themselves and aren’t shy of wearing a tight-fitting shirt to show off their muscly physique.
I met Mr HJ on a dating app. As with all new matches, I like to make it absolutely, categorically clear that I’m not looking for a one-night stand and sex is not going to happen on a first date. (You wouldn’t believe how many men un-match at this point)
Over a few weeks Mr HJ and I exchanged many calls and messages. We had similar interests: he worked in fashion, we both had a healthy lifestyle, he liked to cook (Bingo! How often does that happen…that’s brownie points right there!).
I hadn’t yet experienced matching with a guy who invested so much time in getting to know me, so naturally I was excited. I remember having butterflies when he finally asked me out. Just like a school girl, I’d play with my hair when he called, laugh too loudly at his jokes and blush when he sent me post gym photos with his shirt off.
🙈The shame! I was so pathetic! It’s amazing how far I’ve come in the last 2 years!
For those of you thinking I was a complete love-struck mess, let me attempt to defend myself here. 😂I’d like to put this into perspective. I’d been dating a month. Previous to that was 12 years earlier.
Anyway, back to the story. As with most dates I suggested a coffee and walk at which he replied,
“We need a proper date where I’d have a better opportunity to end the night with a kiss”
Perhaps naive of me to not see this as a warning? We settle on a drink locally and he sends me links to 5 pubs, asking me to choose one. I appreciate it’s the 21st century, but just pick a damn bar. Guys FYI – I can’t speak for all women but certainly my friends and I think its rather charming when you take the lead to suggest somewhere for a date. (Just don’t pick a sports bar with 50 screens).
Finally, I woke up on date day with butterflies again and a smile on my face. I spent my whole evening planning the perfect outfit, I’d purchased new perfume and accessories… Yes, this was a bloody big deal 😂
As with every new day, I’d grab my phone in haste to see what morning message Mr HJ had sent. Here’s the message that was waiting for me:
“So, I’m wondering, and I don’t think you’ll like the question that I want to ask…However, Let’s say you do like me this evening and I’m attempting to remotely respectful about your no sex on a first date rule…. Would you consider a hand job instead”
Not surprisingly, I didn’t go on the date and was crazy ass mad about it. I called my sister and a few friends who were all in absolute stitches, which annoyed me even more…Clearly, I failed to see the funny side. Yet another bad date experience!
My sister even called me that evening telling me that she’d shared my dating story in a taxi with other lawyers who were also all giggling about it at my expense! At the time, I was mortified.
Now, of course, I see the funny side and thank Mr hand job guy for making me stronger and wiser. 2 years on, I’m a completely different person. Welcome to the new courageous dater in me!
Mr HJ still comes up in conversations as one of my epic (but not worst) bad date fails.
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Read my blog about bad date’s no. 1-3 here
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