Bad Date No.1
Having just set out on my online dating journey after being married for 12 years, I had been warned by my friends that bad dates come more often than good. I was however, feeling very positive about getting myself back out there.
When I started to swipe right I really didn’t see height as a big deal. My very first date, was at a restaurant in London where I was greeted at the table with two kisses. A good start…
We sat for hours chatting over a rather wonderful meal. The nauseous feeling had turned into butterflies and I remembering thinking I don’t know what I was worried about, I’ve totally got this.
My date offered to walk me back to my car, and it was only when we stood up to leave that I realised how short he was. We’re talking at least 6 inches shorter than me, plus an additional 3 inches to allow for my heels.
He insisted in waiting in line at the car park machine so he could walk me back to my car.
It was at this point that he decided this was the perfect moment to stick his tongue down my throat.
I’m not a shy person but I’m really not an affectionate person in public, so I was absolutely mortified…It was daylight, in a busy retail park, kids were queuing with their parents, and worst of all, my date was on tippy toes. I pushed him off me and asked,
“What are you doing?”
If people weren’t staring before, they certainly were now. As subtly as possible I wipe the salvia off my face, pay as quickly as possible and speed walk back to my car. The SHAME!
All I could think about on my drive home is the damn girl from the yellow pages ad and how badly my date needed that big yellow book. 😂I called my friends to tell that about my bad date experience and they couldn’t stop laughing. When I go out now, they ask if I’m wearing flat shoes every time! LOL (It doesn’t help that i’m 5’10 before heels)
Lesson learnt from my bad date: Don’t date anyone that is more than 2 inches shorter than me ever again.
Bad date No.2.
I met a guy for dinner on a first date and instantly knew there was no connection. He turned up late, he was wearing a cap with a blazer, a polo neck with boat shoes (oh my days the fashion faux pas).
As soon as I’d sat down, I wish I had the balls to say “I’m just not into you” and leave, but there I was almost contracted to spend a couple of hours with him.
I kid you not, before we’d even ordered food, my date started listing his ten steps of recovery from a breakdown.
The food finally arrived and he continued to wear his cap which was irritating the hell out of me, did his mother not teach him any manners?
He chewed loudly and get this, he took food off my plate!!! 😡This was just going swimmingly. 😂 I remember thinking to myself I was being pranked and someone was going to jump out at any moment.
An hour in and the conversation moved onto his photography lens collection. I heard all their names, their model numbers and uses.
Of course my mind wondered, I was trying to keep myself entertained thinking about anything but this. There were a couple of guys sat opposite that I found myself smiling at. I considered dive bombing through the window. I thought about films where women in distress are rescued. At this point I would have settled for Shrek and his mighty steed Donkey. I’d have taken anything LOL.
To my despair he ordered dessert and coffee too. I couldn’t be more excited when the evening finally ended!
Lesson from Bad date: Don’t ever go for dinner on a first date.
Online Dating Lesson
Don’t go on a date without having a friend available to phone you with a fake emergency to rescue you. Either that or a bathroom window big enough to climb out of.
In all seriousness though, if you ever feel like you’re in any kind of danger you can go up to the bar of most places now and ‘Ask for Angela’. This code phrase will alert the staff that you feel unsafe/vulnerable and they will ensure you get home safely.
My family/friends always ask where and when I’m going on dates and check in on me frequently to ensure I’m ok. Please do let someone know where you’re going as you never know who you’re going to meet.
Don’t ever go out without a back-up plan.
This is just a small preview of some of my bad date experiences. I promise there are more to come, but for now, it’s time for a cheeky Rose or two 😉
Thanks for reading.
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