Why does online dating have to be so incredibly hard?!

Online dating stats

Last year 323 million people used a dating app or used an online dating site. In the UK specifically, the dating app market contributes £11.7bn to the UK economy! Wow, that’s a lot of wine and spaghetti LOL.

It’s not surprising that the most popular dating app in the UK is Tinder, with an astonishing 55% of us Brits having used. That number felt too high to me, but sadly further research revealed that 13% of Tinder users are actually in a relationship! Ok, now it’s beginning to make sense!

Bear with me whilst I throw some more astonishing dating stats at you…

81% of people lie about their height/ age and size on their dating profile
25% of people have been ghosted after a date
27% of online dating users were catfished in 2020
In the first 6 months of 2019, nearly £8 million were lost to romance scams
85% of dating app users in the UK are men

Why online dating is so difficult!

Are you amazed at how bad the stats are? Having had my own personal experiences with being catfished, ghosted and scammed, I’ve still been staring at these numbers in disbelief!

So, for anyone out there that thinks online dating is fun, I have to disagree, and yet, I still find myself addicted to it, as it appears most of us are!

I’ve been online dating for over 2 years, and sadly I haven’t had the best experience, which explains why I do not believe that any user is real until proven otherwise. I transform into a dating detective as soon as I log in, as I start investigating whether users are genuine or not.

Online dating doesn’t come without the disappointment. Sometimes I’d go weeks without receiving a single like, and it would be really easy for me to start judging myself. However, in reality, we’re all just a teeny tiny fish in a very big pond… Standing out from the millions of dating app users is like finding a needle in a haystack.

The day comes that you finally get a match, there’s a feeling of excitement because the guy is super-hot, and then you get ghosted. You’re not alone, as 50% of matches result in no returned messages.

If you happened to see my post on World Mental Health Day, I think it’s really important to consider the effect that online dating has on someone’s mental health. Rejection can have a major impact on our self-esteem, leaving us feeling that we aren’t good enough.

A 2022 study shows that 60% of women are self-conscious about their weight, feeling that they are too heavy. If 6 in 10 women are already experiencing body confidence issues, it’s worrying to think how they may be feeling after experiencing the highs and lows of online dating.

Having experienced my own body confidence issues, I’m very aware that the first step to learning to like myself was to openly talk about my problems, and the same should go with the lows of dating! Don’t ever feel that you’re not enough! I highly recommend speaking to friends about how you’re feeling!

So, what’s the answer?

There’s no question about it, online dating is hard! My advice is to take breaks from the apps when you can feel that it’s having an effect on your confidence. Read a self-love book or tune into an uplifting podcast whilst you’re cooking your tea to start believing in yourself again!

Know that with some persistence it is possible to find the partner of your dreams.

11% of people aged between 40-44 met their partner on an online dating website. (YouGov figures).

I almost fall into this age category, and those numbers are totally workable! For me, the positive dating experiences I’ve had totally outweigh the negative! 🙂

I make it sound like doom and gloom, but on the contrary! I’ve dated over 30 men and I’ve never giggled, blushed, or felt more alive than I do now. I love that dating has given me the opportunity to try new things! (Of which, I highly recommend axe throwing, baking blindfolded, and a tantric massage class for starts)

If online dating just is not right for you, don’t give up hope!

18% of couples meet through work
18% of couples meet through friends
15% meet whilst out and about (you never know you might crash your trolley into the man of your dreams)

I wish you the best of luck on your journey!

Thanks for reading

Eleni x