Top 10 dating profile tips

I feel that it is my duty (and hope for all women’s sanity) that I pass on some advice about men’s dating profiles.

I’ve been online dating for 2 years now, have tried 5 different dating sites and have been through literally thousands of profiles (yes, I appreciate I’m the one coming across pretty sad now).

I’m not alone in my recommendations, too often on a night out with friends we’ll chuckle over the monotonous dating profiles we swipe through.

So here it is my top ten dating profile tips…

1) You may have seen Amy Collier’s article that went viral with a man holding a fish, making him the perfect provider for women. I beg you, please stop putting fishing photos on your dating profile. All women can think about are the horrific smells but worse than that…the maggots. Totally grouse, wriggling creatures that give us the heebie-jeebies… totally the opposite agenda for your profile!

2) What is the obsession with pineapple on pizza? Nobody cares. What does this tell me about you other than you simply have no originality. I’ve already seen this on another 20 dating profiles today. I’m afraid it’s an instant swipe left for me no matter how hot you are.

3) A walk and a Sunday roast. I’m not 100% sure I’ll be backed by ladies on this one, but as with no.2, where is your sense in spontaneity to live life and do something other than sitting in the pub eating a stodgy meal that’s going to make you want to nap all afternoon? My favourite first date was axe throwing followed by street food at Borough market and drinks along the embankment. Beats a roast any day!

4) Photos looking up your nostrils. Ok granted, girls generally have more experience in taking selfies, but it really won’t take long for you to get the hang of it. Just hold your phone slightly above your eye line. Not only will it prevent the nose hair/bogey shot, it’ll also flatter your neckline.

5) Pouting. Are men trying to catch on to the new lip filling craze? I just don’t get it!

6) Filters. The common ones on profiles are Snapchat shades, twinkling hearts, kisses and of course the one that turns your eyes an irresistible blue. Don’t get me wrong I love messing around with filters, but I would never add them to my profile. We just want to see the real you!

7) Repeated photos. “He’s been so lazy with his dating profile, would he be absolutely useless in bed too?”

8) Variations of photos, in one place. Boring! Ladies like to see what makes you tick. Hobbies/music/do you have friends/like to travel?

9) Photos in bed. If you’re on Tinder, or looking for something casual, we’ll figure this out from the first few questions you ask. Photos in bed are sleazy.

10) Stop posting photos in your helmet. If you’re keen to show us your tight Lycra loving look, at least ride somewhere idyllic, take the helmet off and show us the view.

Do you have any thoughts on the matter? Share in the comments below.
Happy Swiping!

This blog is also available as a podcast. Click to listen to ‘Dating profile tips for men‘.